woman sitting alone looking over the sea with a dark blue sky
Christian Living Relationships

Singleness and God

I’m excited to introduce you to Jolaade Olatunbsoun! Jolaade has offered to write a few articles to share with you. She loves God and his word, plus she has the ability to write from a perspective that I cannot write from. I believe that will be a blessing to many! Don’t forget to visit Jolaade’s own website and check out more of her writing.

Feeling intimidated as I sat at my desk knowing I was the odd one out of my colleagues, I could only take a quick peek around to see who I could fit with, not that I was putting up a standard on the guy I want but all I wanted was to please my God, as I kept hearing the words of Joseph ringing in my ears, how then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God. This was my belief, and I was not ready to give it up because I was feeling lonely or not belonging or blending in with society. That’s it, I said to myself, Clara, this is your sacrifice, you have not come this far to go back on your love for God because you feel lonely.

Being single in this day and age, especially for a Christian youth can be the highest temptation there is. Most Christian youths at one point or the other have experienced this, some might have been bold enough to share how they feel with their parents or godly friend, and some might have given in to pressure, dealing with guilt and pain.

What is “singleness?”

It is a period in a a person’s life, male or female, when he or she is waiting on God for a spouse or life partner.

An important factor to consider while single is…

Who am I?

This question is a complete question for every individual, single or not, it is a question of self-discovery. What is my purpose here on earth? What is the reason for my existence? Being single is no time to wallow in depression, or self-pity or time to envy your friends for not having someone of your own. But it is an opportunity given to you to discover who you are, not only in God but also the purpose of your living.

Singleness is deeper than seeking love. Because when your love comes you should have loved yourself enough to know who you are, what you want, where you are going, your likes and dislikes, and this can only be gotten when we give ourselves time to reflect through the help of the Holy Spirit.

In discussing singleness and God, we will look at two aspects of this topic:

  1. Singleness and God (Discovering in fellowship)
  2. Singleness and God (For the right person at the right time)

Singleness and God: Discovering in fellowship

And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone-

Genesis 2:18

From the beginning of time till now, it has been the will of God that we should not be alone, but have a companion who we can share our joys, fears, worries, desires, and anxieties with. God knew the importance of companionship, he formed Eve from Adam. How beautiful!

The single period is what I call the waiting period, the period when we wait to be discovered by the right one, a period of self-preparation to be seen and noticed by the right one, a period of self-grooming, discovery, and relationship with God.

person sitting on dock overlooking water and a foggy sky
Photo by Fabrizio Verrecchia on Unsplash

Ultimately, it is the period when you seek the face of God for your life, future husband/wife, and family.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and its righteousness and everything shall be added unto you–

Matthew 6:33

It might puzzle you I had to quote that scripture, “seek ye first and everything shall be added,” part of your everything is to have a spouse, someone to call your own. And this is for every believer that is found in the place of seeking God first.

The woman of Old said, “my son and I will eat this and die, but the servants of God said, do my own first, and afterward we saw the testimonies.” (Paraphrasing, see 1st Kings 17:8-16)

Doing the will of God is the very first step in discovering and knowing what God’s plan is for our lives. In the place of obedience, he reveals to you all that you need to know and that can be gotten during our fellowship with God.

Discovering in fellowship

When you develop a relationship with God, he reveals and tells you things you desire to know about yourself and your future. And there is a lot we need to know and discover about ourselves as single Christian youths apart from our emotions. Our emotions fluctuate, we may feel loved today and unloved tomorrow, happy today, and unhappy tomorrow, but during these uncertain times it is the fellowship and relationship you have had with Christ that keeps you going, this is the strength that you stand upon.

This brings me to some questions to consider as singles:

  1. How do I improve my spouse?
  2. How do I bring out the best in him or her?
  3. How do I encourage them when she or he is not at their best?

The 2nd part of Genesis 2:18 answers the above question’s:

I will make him a helper comparable to him…

Genesis 2:18
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

See! A helper comparable to him, that is a man or woman who has the same vision, dream, focus, aligned purpose. One that will help him or her become who God has created him to be. And you can only become that man or woman to your spouse during your relationship with God as God reveals them to you.

A Helper is one who shares man’s responsibilities, responds to his nature with understanding and love, and wholeheartedly cooperates with him in working out the plan of God–

The Wycliffe Bible Commentary

Just as a student prepares for an exam by studying, we prepare for marriage during our waiting period, as we groom ourselves into a spouse worthy character both physically and spiritually this will make us excellent wives and husbands.

Singleness and God: For the right man at the right time

With so much pressure, where society thinks less of purity and abstinence, how then does one stay pure when faced with pressure and temptations?

We can only find the answer on how deep and sincere our love for God is.

Joseph buttressed this when he said, “how then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” (Genesis 39:9).

When you love God, you will want to keep his command, you will want to please him, you will want God to approve of you and say you are His beloved and you are well-pleasing.

Except you are ashamed of your Christian identity or feel left out when friends talk about their weekend experiences and you have nothing to say other than reading, watching movies and going to church. But remember that staying true to your creator and yourself is the best gift you can ever give your spouse.

Be not ashamed of your identity in Christ, be not ashamed of your belief, because when you hold on to your belief and faith in God, not wavering, God will say about you just as he said of David, “I have found a man after my own heart.”

And it is better to receive an acknowledgment from God than man.

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